CAN YOU EXPLAIN BIRTH ORDER?

http://www.lemanbooksandvideos.com/.

The Six Keys to Successful Single Parenting

More than 25 percent of children in the United States are being raised in a single-parent home according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Ten million of those homes are maintained by women. Though there are many ways to become a single parent (divorce, death or even through adoption), all parenting has challenges but single parenting has additional ones. If you want to succeed as a single parent, keep this in mind: challenges are simply challenges, not insurmountable obstacles.

An important consideration is that single parents should not strive for perfection. There can be a happy ending if you do things right. But you can’t make your kids happy at every turn. After counseling thousands of single parents and their children, I have discovered six keys to single parenting that work.

Key 1: Create a plan. Look at the whole picture of your life, where you are and where you will be

Key 2: Know yourself and your child. Helping your chld means starting on yourself first.

Key 3: Gather a team. Being a lone ranger can be lonely so don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Key 4: Focus on the ABC’s. Acceptance, Belonging and Competence.

Key 5: Know what to say and do when kids ask. Hard questions come up. Know what to say.

Key 6: Realize it’s not about you. It’s about the kids for now.

The key to single parenting doesn’t lie with your child’s relationship with schoolteachers, youth leaders or coaches. The key lies within the parent…in the relationship between parent and son or daughter. It’s thorugh your eyes, your behavior, your words and your thoughts that your child learns about her self-esteem, her worth in God’s eyes and how to relate to others. Those things affect not only her present, but her future and the generations to come.

Guilt is a feeling that many single parents experience. Neither spouse was the sole reason the relationship failed. Guilt only serves to drag you back face-to-face with your past. Grace, on the other hand, frees you from the past and enables you to look forward in confidence and hope.

MISTAKES YOU DON’T WANT TO MAKE
There are three mistakes a single parent doesn’t want to make.

#1 Avoid moving. When the family’s foundation has been severely shaken, many parents want to leave that home behind. Stay put. There are exceptions, for example, if the family you have around you is toxic, or if the town isn’t big enough for both spouses, etc.

#2 Avoid letting grandparents parent your children. With the daunting responsibility of parenting alone, who wouldn’t call Parent 911? Grandparents can serve as wonderful coaches, but they can’t take completely over.

#3 Avoid jumping into the dating game. Also, avoid getting back into a relationship with your ex. This is an extremely vulnerable season of life and plunging into another relationship during this period is simply trouble.

If possible, don’t start dating until after the kids are 18 years old and out of the house. By waiting, you make things as smooth as possible for the children. Realistically, with only 24 hours in a day, dating requires a significant portion of time and energy. If you want to raise healthy kids, waiting to date is the best thing you can do for them. If you are going to date, be sure that person can emotionally adopt your kids. Never remarry until you are able to release your children to the new mate as if they were his or her own.

We all have 24 hours a day. Too many single parents take on the same load as everyone else rather than adjusting their lives to the time that they have. Learn to say no. Limit the number of activities your family is involved in. Allow kids one activity per term. Say yes to doing things together. Presence with your children is far more important than anything else.

Kevin

You Can Catch More Flies With Honey!

I read about a woman who had recently moved to a small town. She had to go into a local drugstore and was absolutely appalled by the way she was treated. The pharmacist, who was also the store's owner, was much too slow, she didn't like the attitude of the clerk, and there were several other problems that frankly ticked her off.
Later that afternoon, she began to complain to her next-door neighbor about the service she had received in the pharmacy.
The neighbor seemed to be concerned and said, "Listen...I know Tom, the pharmacist, really well. Maybe I should talk to him for you."
The woman said "I wish you would!"
A few days later, she had cause to go into the little drugstore again, and this time everything was totally different. The pharmacist was pleasant and efficient, the clerk--who was his wife--was friendly and helpful, and it was a complete contrast to her first visit to the store.
When she got back home she called the neighbor and told her what had happened. "I guess you talked to him, just like you said you would."
"I sure did."
"And you really let him have it, huh--told him how unhappy I had been?"
There was a brief pause on the other end of the line. "Well...no...no exactly."
"Well, what did you tell him?"
"I told him you were absolutely delighted by the service he gave you. I told him that you loved his little store, and you planned to be a regular customer."
Well, I'm not sure if the story is true, but I know that the point it illustrates is true. Positive tactics work much better than negative tactics when it comes to changing behavior.

Keep it Positive--Kevin

Taken from "Sex Begins in the Kitchen" by Dr Kevin Leman-Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group

EARLY MEMORIES

When I begin analyzing a patient's life-style, one of the first questions I ask is,"What is your earliest childhood memory?" It is amazing how often the first memory can give insight into a person's overall lifestyle. That first memory, selected from among hundreds of other early incidents, is an excellent indicator of how we look at life. Whereas there are thousands of incidents that happen to all of us in our earliest years, we tend to remember most clearly those that are consistent with how we see ourselves in relationship to others!

What is your first memory? Do you remember being embarrassed and ashamed because you had done something wrong? Perhaps you had wet your pants in front of the other kids and they were laughing at you? Or do you remember your father taking you on his lap and telling you that the drawing you just made was a wonderful work of art?

There isn't a person alive who hasn't done something embarrassing at one time or another and found himself the subect of derisive laughter. And there arn't too many who haven't experienced at least a few victories. But if you center on the embarrassments and the mistakes, you may be following a life-style that leads to futher rejection and humiliation. If, on the other hand, you are a person who tends to forget the embarrassaments altogether, and focus on the times you did well and made others proud of you, your life-style will be one of healthy self-respect. And a major key toward success in life is self-respect!!

I hope this can be of help to you as you continue down life's path.--Kevin


Taken from "When Your Best Isn't Good Enough" by Dr Kevin Leman-Baker Publishing Group

HAVE a NEW KID by FRIDAY

I have just written a book that already has become a top seller because it can quickly help parents change their child's behavior--FAST. It is called Have a New Kid by Friday. Do you want a kid without the attitude? Without the behavior that makes you slink away in the grocery store and pretend you’re not the parent? A kid with character who isn’t a character? If you’re tired of defiant attitudes and power struggles with your little ankle-biters or the disrespectful hormone group, read this book and follow the simple principles, and you’ll Have a New Kid by Friday. Guaranteed!

Have a New Kid by Friday is your 5-day action plan—Monday through Friday—that really works! I use humor along with commonsense psychology to reveal why your kids do what they do and what you can do about it—starting right now.
Anyone can do it. All it takes is you deciding to stand up and take charge. Want a great kid? Want to be a great parent? Then take the 5-day challenge. Someday your kid will thank you for it. It is available at http://www.lemanbooksandvideos.com/.

Let me know how it worked for you!!
Talk to you soon. --Kevin